Open Letter to Best Buy

What the fuck you guys cant have 1 copy of the new George Harrison cd? WTF you guys welcome to the black list motherfucker, how dare you disrespect George Harrison and myself in such a way

Fuck You

JKP

Breaking news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2341413541325346346!!!!!!!

Screech Porno!!!

Man we are almost there, weve seen about every Saved by the bell castmember naked now if we can just get Zach to drop trow we will be set oh yeah and lisa turtle. I saw pics of Slater the other day naked on Nip Tuck man that sucked for my eyes.

This retard down the street

There is this retard down the street that weirds the hell outta me. Hes prob 6'1 really skinny and walks all over town everyday. I see him everywhere walking around shirtless with his shorts almost down to his ankles. The fucker is creepy. He also sings in his retard voice as loud as he can as his music is cranked up extreamly loud on his old ass cassete walkman. You can hear him yelling blocks away. He dresses like a gangster most days, sometimes carries his skateboard around wearing skater clothes, he also dresses up in a full on cowboy getup with boots belt and hat, but the major kicker is when he dresses up as a pirate complete with puffy shirt ala:



I fucken kid you not he wears a shirt just like this. He also smokes a lot. This dude is probably 25 yrs old but he hangs out with a bunch of 12 yr olds down the street. Im rarely creeped out but this guy does it for me. As i type this at 11 at night hes outside walking around the neighborhood. He always gives me thumbs up when i drive by him in my mustang and my jeep. Im thinking i may have to run over him to save the neighborhood.

Super Sunday or Weekend

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Today i went to see Jackass 2. I can easily say it was the best movie i saw today. If you like shit, penis, balls, horse seamen, and pubes this is the movie for you. Luckily i love all of these things so the movie was top notch on SirPauls movie corner.

I also watched the UFC ppv last night which was also a top notch night of fights. Pulver got pulverized, someone could have made a fortune betting on that fight 7 to 1 odds and Pulver lost. I also made money on the Swick fight which was nice. BJ Penn owned Hughes too bad he ran outta gas however. Too bad we did not get to see this part deux.


I also cant wait to see the IFL cause Militech lost to Gracie which i think is a huge upset. Speaking of IFL in about 45 min Bas Ruttens Anaconadas are gonna be kicking some major ass on Fox Sports.

I also went to the IPW show in Delta last night. Quite the place quite the show. Some new masked up and commer named El Diablo stole the show. Angie and i were about killed by an outside the ring moonsault by Matty Fitness that took out Johnny Fitness and the whole front row. Luckily i dont break easy.

Take it Sirpaul!

Thanks Gene. You know i feel bad for kids that are like 14 and 15 having to work. I dont know why that is, its prob in part cause i worked my ass off at that age and it sucked. I was at Fazolis today and there was a 14 yr old girl dishing the breadsticks and cleaning tables for probably 5.50 an hour. For some reason i felt bad and when my kids born he/she will not work till they are 16 ive decided.

Tommorrow is Joel and I's weekly lunch date im hoping for pizza but he always has his eye on the mexican places. I will get fajitas if mexican is the case

Later Folks

Iowa Sucks but Pizza does not

Man so many pizza places opening for pizza season i can not keep up folks its an impossiable mission that i can only hope to beat with all your guys help. New place opened up in Johnston that looks really good called wallys or some shit like that. Also old school paradise pizza is not rocking a buffet its been prob 15 yrs since ive been there and i think its time to go back

Fuck the Hawks, i hate them

Man i cant wait for this film to come out next year. Im gonna get the lotion ready for it. Trailer

Rock

Free Dog!!!

Let Dog go i dont know what ill do if he has to stay in jail for a few years. Even worse Leiland and Youngblood are in the joint with him. I dont know if i could watch Dog if its just Baby Lyssa, Beth and Duane Lee. If that happens they may need to even bring back Justin to the team. Free Dog!!

Story

Goodbye

Im sad that we never got too see you in Playboy

Jaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

I was pissed on Folks!

Much to my suprise this morning when i woke up and brushed my teeth, like we all should lets keep those teeth healthy folks, i looked into the mirror and saw some yellow on my shirt i then took my shirt off too my shock and saw the back of my shirt was covered in dried up piss. I about died i then looked at the bed and saw piss up by my pillow and where my back is when i sleep. Either i pissed the bed which is a good thought or that mother fucker Buster pissed all over me. Thats my guess. Hes been a shit head lately hes torn up 2 magazines and pissed right in front of my 2 times in 2 days. I dont know whats up with him but if he does not shape up hes gone. I always wanted to be peed on while im sleeping by an asian woman not some fucking dog. Way to ruin my dream Buster

Buckle up for pizza season!!!

Folks pizza season is here and pizza places are poping up everywhere. Pizza Ranch opened up on Monday just in time to kick off the season. Now Presto pizza has opened up. Encore pizza is now having a lunch buffet for all the pizza season crowd. Also a few other places have opened up around town along with the old favorites i have yet to give a try. Its a great time to be alive folks.

Kyle Pulls a Homer

Sorry about the big announcement, the real big announcement is im going to be a father. Im pumped to be a dad!!!

I pulled a homer last week. I bought a pair of 14oz bag gloves and gave them to Angie as a present. I wanted them but she actually has been using them but i have as well. So all worked out i guess. I also went to the stupid training i had to go to for work. Man they hire the worse employees i tell you what. 12 people in my group and 4 of them could not read. 1 was retarded so ill let him slide just barely, i think retards should be able to read. Man whats the world coming too when 4 of 12 could not even read?

Do You Believe in Miracles??(announcement time)

Folks this announcement is days in the making i wanted to make sure i checked once and checked twice to see for sure that this was even possible. A dream come true for yours truly and one of the greatest moments of my life.


























Welcome Pizza Ranch in Altoona Iowa!!!!!!!! What a dream come true. It opens on Sept 5th and you better believe i will be there when the gates open at 11. I have dreamed for many years that a pizza ranch would open up in central Iowa, ever since the short lived Urbandale location. Its so comforting too me to know that the pizza ranch is only a short 10 min away from my house. I know a one Chris Carzoli will be pretty happy about this news as well. Just think Carzoli after every stop at the meadows the ranch is just around the corner. I broke down in tears when i found out about it. God bless America and god bless the pizza ranch!!!

Big Lots, Big Deals

Today Angie and I were killing time before we hit up a movie and decided to go to Big Lots. Man oh man after walking around looking at all the junky shit in this place we found a tub deal for 3 bucks that we could throw all our MMA shit into, however while waiting in line they had a rack of movies and somehow i saw it out of the corner of my eye and it was only 2 dollars it was UFC 20 the long out of print UFC ppv featuring Bas Ruttens big win of the UFC belt, i also scored UFC 6 for the same price that one featured the Shamrock vs Severn match. I was totally stoked outta my mind to find these. Never again will i make fun of Big Lots.

So after the magical Big Lot adventure we headed over to the theater and watched John Tucker must die. It was what you would expect it would be, I think Angie liked it, she better have since she picked it out. That Jesse Metcalf is sooooooo dreamy
I mean i would fuck him. I really wish the night Pete and i were at Drink and he was there i would have slipped him my number. Hes just a little guy however and everyone knows i like my men big and hairy.

I also went to the movie Crank this weekend. This is the perfect movie a 5 on the Kyle movie scale. It had boobs, tons of action and was extremly short i mean hr and 20 min perfect amount of time i wish almost all movies were this long. I just wish Bas Rutten stared in it i could see him doing a movie like that.

Cant wait till Tuesday when the new Maiden Cd comes out.

PS: Big Announcement is coming very soon keep checking back. This will change a lot of peoples worlds, at least my world will be totally different. I just dont want the news out till its 100% a done deal if you know what i mean.

!!!!!!!!!!!

The biggest announcement in the history of my blog is coming very very soon. Be prepared folks this is a huge huge announcement!!!!

Till Then keep it real....real fresh

Tito is excited for Pizza season!!!!!@412341!$!!111!!!!

Pizza season starts today folks! I celebrated with Pizza Ranch in Creston, however all was not good as 2nd time in a row no Bronco pizza on the buffet. It was a bit disheartinging. However next time i go its on them as i have filled up my punch card. I might get a slice of dominos at the valley/dowling game tonight to keep things going in the right direction